Let's stop punishing women for men's mistakes

In defense of a woman's right to date the bad boy (kind of)

By now everyone across the globe is aware that Taylor Swift and Matty Healy are enjoying a summer fling after the end of her six-year relationship with Joe Alwyn. The two first exchanged numbers in 2014, but he shaded her by saying dating her would be emasculating. Fans are expressing extreme disappointment for Taylor’s choice in rebound, an odd focus considering she is consistently breaking music industry records. Currently, all ten of her albums are charting on the Billboard 200 for the first time. Yet Swifties are entirely focused on her male companion.

While yes, Matty Healy has committed multiple cancellable offenses, he’s really nothing out of the ordinary for Hollywood and its adjacent industries. Many of our favorite starlet’s boyfriends, baby daddies, and husbands have committed similar social crimes. For example, in 2015, A$AP Rocky said on The Breakfast Club radio show, “I don’t wanna talk about no fucking Ferguson and shit because I don’t live over there. I live in fucking SoHo and Beverly Hills. I can’t relate.” When Rihanna began dating him three years ago, ironically amidst BLM protests in 2020 following the murder of George Floyd, these comments resurfaced, he blamed the media for taking misconstruing his words, and that was enough for fans to accept Rihanna’s choice of a partner.

Similarly, none of Matty Healy’s transgressions penetrated the zeitgeist until he attached himself to one Miss Taylor Swift, but since these comments resurfaced, the laser beams have been pointed at Taylor, rather than Matty, with fans expressing deep disappointment in Taylor for being repeatedly photographed with the musician.

Contrarily, those in Taylor’s circle are big fans of Matty’s. Rumor has it that Jack Antonoff, Taylor’s go-to producer and co-writer is responsible for reconnecting the budding couple. In addition, Matty is close to one of Taylor’s openers on her Eras Tour, Phoebe Bridgers. Unfortunately, Swifties, I believe you are outmatched here by her real-life friends.

Prior to his new romance with Taylor, Matty has dated other starlets such as Halsey and FKA Twigs, neither of whom have suffered the same backlash from their much longer, more official associations with him. In fact, Matty and FKA Twigs were rumored to be engaged.

Taylor Swift worked hard to shed her goody two shoes image with her album, reputation, which she says is her most “metal” record. Despite the clear message she sent through lyrics, synthesizers, and snake imagery, we still expect her to act as though she is Miss America.

Meanwhile, Leonardo DiCaprio is still dating 23-year-olds at nearly 50, Nick Cannon has 12 kids by 6 baby mamas, Nicholas Braun has a laundry list of credible sexual assault allegations, and Johnny Depp ran Amber Heard off to Spain.

Sure — Matty has said some awful things and is probably not the nicest guy. But don’t act like you haven’t dated someone just as bad. Dear reader, I want you to think back to the most significant breakup of your life. Maybe not the most traumatic, but when the relationship you thought would be forever turned out to be just another trial run. I ask you — did you make great decisions after that?

I’m not sure why society refuses to look at Taylor Swift as a human being, but it feels a lot like misogyny to me. Matty Healy has a lot to answer for, yes. But Taylor does not owe us an explanation for how she chooses to mourn the end of a six-year relationship. I am begging the internet to allow Taylor and other female celebrities to go through their healing processes however they see fit.